DATING TIPS: The Top 10 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You

Your biggest enemy in starting relationships is your ego, because while the ego can drive us to great heights in our careers (as long as we contain it), it can really hurt you when it comes to the dating game. Here’s why. By Jeff M. Stevens


Your ego tells you to keep pursuing a woman that is giving you every signal in the world that she doesn’t want to be romantic and you miss out on the women that could be interested. Your ego says “I like her, she has to like me back, I’m the man.” Here are some ego busting strategies in the form of “The Top 10 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You.”

Read these and you’ll likely find yourself in there somewhere. Maybe you can get the little devil off your shoulder that tells you to keep going after her and go for someone that really likes you.

Note: I didn’t include her saying things like she has a boyfriend or just flat turning you down, because those are super obvious and if you pursue her after hearing those things, you are probably beyond help. Women can sometimes be vague because some don’t want to drop a ‘no’ on you, but they will slide you to the side with what I have below.


The Top 10 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You:

    1. When you ask her for the number, she doesn’t whip it out right away. She shuffles around and says things like: ‘Why do you want my number?’ … ‘Why don’t you give me your number?’ …  ‘I’ll give you my number but maybe we can start out as friends?’ Women help you when they like you and I’ll be repeating that throughout this. This dating stuff is not rocket science. She knows exactly what she’s doing when she is saying things like “why don’t you give me your number?” Basically, she doesn’t want you to call her and your number will end up in the garbage can about 3.5 seconds after you turn your back!
    2. You get the number, call her, set the date and things are going great until she blasts you with this gem that most guys have heard. “Can you just call me a couple hours before our date to remind me/see if I can still go due to a crazy work schedule/make sure I’m back from out of town?” I call that the “option date.” In other words, it is her option to cancel on you a few hours before if something better comes along!
    3. She breaks your date. Yes, there can be true emergencies where she gets deathly ill right before going out, or someone has an accident, etc. However, think back to all the social encounters you’ve had in your life, and think about how many you needed to cancel due to a true emergency. Either you counted them on one hand or you are one unlucky sap. Either way, her excuse of the parakeet falling down the toilet probably is not the real reason for not seeing you that night.
    4. It is hard to set a date with her. You get the number, call her up, ask her out for five days in the future and you get a “well, I’m busy that day with (insert excuse here)” and then she just shuts up. Interested women will say “I can’t make it on Tuesday but I’m completely free on Wednesday!”She doesn’t return your calls. Here’s the rule. Call one time, leave a message. Wait a week and call back and leave a second message. If you don’t get a response after that, then delete the number from your phone!
    5. She’s less than enthusiastic when you do call. How does she act when you call? Does she give you the big and happy “Hi (insert your name here),” or does she say something like “You woke me up” and then goes silent as a stone? Yeah, not a good sign. I look at it this way, pick a Hollywood actor that she really likes and has fantasies about. Think that if he called her she wouldn’t enthusiastically respond to a phone call from him, even if she woke up in a cold medicine stupor after being sick for a week? If I can’t have a woman react to my call like that, then it isn’t worth it. I’d rather be alone than be with some half-interested woman that thinks she’s doing me a favor. Remember, women help you when they like you.
    6. No touching on your dates. When women are into you, they naturally touch you. They might brush your arm as they’re laughing, hit you on the leg, etc. Women that don’t touch are generally women that are not interested. Watch for that.
    7. One-word answers when you meet her; turned away from you. Ever see those crime shows where the law enforcement officer is interviewing the crime figure who is giving them nothing? If you feel as if you’re that lawman when you’re talking to her, she’s not that interested and there is no sense even trying to pursue further. Remember, women help you when they like you.
    8. Confrontation on the date. I know of a guy who took a lady out and was acting like a complete gentleman as he asked her questions just trying to get to know her. She told him that she felt as if she was on an interview and scowled at him. The date ended soon after because this guy got it. She wasn’t interested. Now, why she would even go on the date in the first place is a mystery, but they will do that. It is your job to figure out whether a woman is really interested or not so you don’t waste your time!
    9. The general gut feeling. Listen to that internal radar you have. Women are not impossibly complex creatures that are hard to figure out. When they like a guy—I mean, really like a guy—they make it obvious they want to be with him. I call it feeling the “heat” coming from her. You feel the warmth of a woman that is interested in you because she makes sure to give you the vibe that she really wants you. On the flip side, you can feel the coldness of a woman that is not interested. It is no more hard than this guys.



Remember, women help you when they like you. Remember that line as you ponder the top 10 signs she’s just not that into you above.


The Top 10 signs she’s just not that into you is only the beginning of the wisdom visit this site ( to order THE SYSTEM, which is the definitive guide for dating women and relationships, writ10 by dating expert (and my radio co-host), Doc Love. Jeff M. Stevens is heard all over the US on several commercial radio stations as co-host of The Doc Love Show: Understanding Women For Men Only. His co-host Doc Love has appeared on FOX News and in Time Magazine for his unique approach to dating women!