PRE-WEDDING SURVIVAL. Even if your wife-to-be appears to be turning into a bridezilla, you can still save the day with these ten easy steps by Amy Cunningham
You proposed and she said yes! Now that you’re officially engaged, the chaos begins. More often than not, preparing for a wedding will make you consider eloping or, better yet, ship your fiancée off to the funny farm. That being said, you can survive even the craziest engagements with a little bit of patience and a little bit of romance. Yes, romance. When things get crazy, this may be the last thing on your mind; but a little extra love and romance during these tough times will strengthen your relationship and make it even stronger for the future. On the more practical side, these 10 tips will help you keep the romance alive during your engagement:
1. TAKE PICTURES
Lots of them! Your fiancée is so busy during this time that she’s often not thinking about enjoying the planning process itself. This is where you come in by taking pictures throughout the engagement and wedding planning period. Snap photos at any event that she won’t be present at (your bachelor party, tux fittings, etc.). Keep your camera or phone at hand and snap photos anytime you see an opportune moment, such as her and her bridesmaids putting together favors or her and her mom addressing the invitations. After the wedding, put it all together in a photo album or scrapbook for her.
2. ALWAYS AGREE
Ok, not really. Be honest when your fiancée asks your opinion and make suggestions, but don’t be overly picky. If you Feel strongly about something, be it the reception site, ceremony site or your vows, then speak up! Your fiancée is likely very stressed during this time, so pick your fights carefully. If you don’t have a strong opinion on something, just go with the flow.
3. OFFER TO HELP
Brides usually start planning right away and generally end up being in control of the entire process. In fact, your fiancée probably hired a wedding planner the day after you proposed. If you’re deeply involved in the whole process, then you can skip this step. If not, make an offer to help with different aspects of the process and, then, let her take you up on it. When she does ask for help, do everything you can to get it done and make it easy.
4. STOP TALKING
Ban all wedding talk on certain days of the week. Enjoy a dinner together and talk about what you did during the day, current events, friends and family, a good book, etc. Basically everything except ongoing preparations for the big day. Reconnect and talk like you did before wedding planning took over your lives.
5. DATE AGAIN
Make sure that you take some time to “date” like you used to do before the engagement. Go out to dinner together or maybe see a new movie. You’ll have fun together and reconnect in an environment away from the stress of putting together a wedding.
6. PAMPER HER
This time period is a whirlwind of highs, lows and complete craziness. Help your fiancée destress with a little bit of romantic pampering. Surprise her with flowers. Set up a sensual bubble bath by candlelight and let her relax alone (or together if she chooses).
7. JUST SAY NO TO YOUR FAMILY
Bickering families are a requirement during the engagement period. Well, maybe not a requirement, but it’s pretty much guaranteed to occur, so be prepared. Set the guidelines; make sure that your families are aware of these guidelines; and then stick to them. If you set a maximum number of guests and they try to add additional names, say no. If they’re unhappy with the dinner menu, wedding location or anything else, gently remind them that this is your wedding. You may have a little more difficulty with this if your parents are paying for the wedding, but even in that case, set up boundaries in the beginning to keep disagreements from happening down the road. If everyone plans happily, the two of you will be happier together.
8. GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND
Arrange a weekend getaway together. Pick a romantic bed and breakfast in a nearby city and spend the whole weekend in bed together. Order in all of your food, watch a few movies, and talk … keep all wedding talk at home though.
9. WORDS OF LOVE
Your engagement and wedding offers many opportunities for expressing your love via words. Write your fiancée a letter to open on the morning of your wedding. Add a few love quotes, poems or phrases that express your feelings for her. Talk to your fiancée about writing your own vows. Writing your own vows allows you to personalize your ceremony and express your love to your wife-to-be on the most important day of your lives.
10. HAVE FUN TOGETHER
If you do nothing else, just have fun. Lighten the mood with a little icing on the nose when you’re cake-tasting. Practice dancing to your song together, walking down the aisle or picking crazy songs for your reception. It’s these types of funny moments that remind you why you’re going through all this in the first place. The stress of planning lasts only a short time, but the fun and loving times you experience will make for some unforgettable memories.