Dating: Top 10 Mistakes in Approaching Women

For most, approaching the opposite sex is all about timing and strategies. Rey L. sums up some common mistakes guys make when they approach women.

So you want to approach women? Here’s the thing, if you don’t approach a woman within the next few seconds after making eye contact, you can lose the opportunity later. The window is open from the first eye contact she has with you. Of course she is checking you out; use that opportunity. But before you do that, remember a few key points.

When you talk to a woman or a group of women you have to display attractiveness through higher social status. Sure, you can buy expensive clothes or impress her with how well you groomed yourself, but it is more than just that. You want to be able to display into attractiveness with your personality in a way that tells her that you are an alpha male.

Confidence is something you learn through experience. Once you get it down, it will then be a smooth interaction without affected of what the outcome may be. Your mindset should be like: who cares about what she thinks—it’s how you make her feel at the moment and, by not caring about the outcome, you create an aura about yourself that tells her you’re a guy who “gets it.”

If you’ve been studying how to attract women for a while, there are some common mistakes guys make when they approach women:

Complimenting her
By giving her an opening like, “You’re so beautiful,” she will categorize you as a lowerstatus male. Think of it this way: She is first and foremost not some goddess you put on a pedestal. When you do that, you give her all the power, and her attraction for you is lost.

Buying her a drink
You don’t even know her, and she has done nothing to earn your respect or a drink, for that matter. When you do this, you’re communicating that you’re trying too hard to win her over. This also lowers your status, and women will take advantage the moment she knows you’re a buy-me-a-drink guy. (NOTE: If a girl asks you to buy her a drink, tell her: “I don’t know you that well to buy you a drink. Tell me more about yourself, and maybe I’ll buy you a drink.”)

Giving little eye contact
For many guys, it’s hard for them to look directly in her eyes. Alpha males look directly in a woman’s eyes. When you show this kind of confidence, you show a power that women succumb to. So she will be more receptive to your approach.

Don’t be “The drunken-monkey guy”
Women get hit on from the liquid-courage kind of guys all night. They do this because they lack the balls to approach her in a sober way. You will be categorized for the weakling you are when you are drunk, since there is a lack of control and confidence when you’re all boozed up. Women are tired of all the drunken monkey guys trying to start a conversation with them. It’s not attractive. It shows you’re not a male who is in control.

Speaking in a meek way
Speak up when you approach! Especially in loud clubs, you have to match or be louder than the women you talk to. What is with the shy voice? When you speak in a low voice not only no one can hear you, you come across as lacking confidence in yourself and what you’re trying to express.

Trying too hard
Men in general are goal-oriented, so they bring this into meeting women. Your focus should not be the phone number or the sex in the end; it should focus on having a fun, enjoyable interaction. When you focus on having fun, the pressure to perform or entertain will subside, and things like the phone number and sex will happen naturally. Remember, you’re not out to get something from her.

Stop ignoring her friends
Beautiful women are rarely alone when they go out; they are usually with friends. So when you ignore her friends, you disrespect the group, and you’ll be noticed as the guy who is just trying to hit on her friend. Then you’ll have cock-blocks even before you can say cock-block. You’ll come across to the group as a guy with no game or not socially savvy because of your ignorance.

Not flirting with her
If you don’t flirt with her, you will not create attraction, and you’ll be classified as the nice guy who can only talk to her but not create continuous attraction from flirting. You’ll only be a friend to her.

Getting the number prematurely
If you focus in just getting the number, women will look at you as a guy who has no social intelligence. Plus, she’ll probably give you a number that leads to a loser hotline instead of her real number. If you want to get the number, have a fun interaction together. If you have fun and an amusing interaction, she will definitely want to give you her number since she would like to continue the conversation with more laughs and fun at another time.