HOT AND COLD IN BED. Spice things up in bed with fun temperature play that will kick up your arousal levels a notch or two, as suggested by John Dugan
Looking for sex tips to spice things up? There are many ways to do so, but one that many couples are unfamiliar with is incorporating hot and cold play in the bedroom. Altering the temperature can stimulate the nerve endings and circulatory system in ways that deliver mind-blowing pleasure to both partners. The following examples—always coupled with proper care to maintain vaginal and penile health, of course—can help couples get their bearings in this exciting new world of sensation play.
CUP OF WATER
Keeping a cup of warm (not hot!) water near the bed can boost oral sex enjoyment. A partner can take a sip, swallow, then take another sip and hold the warm water in her mouth, then take the man’s penis inside. Swishing the water around his penis for a few moments then swallowing it will give him a tantalizing experience.
Warm, moist breath is one of the body’s most pleasurable heat sources, and making use of this natural heat during foreplay and sex can bring both partners waves of enjoyment. Gently exhale on a lover’s sensitive spots, including the stomach, neck and ears. Gently breathing on the clitoris and testicles is also encouraged.
Most people have heard of dripping hot candle wax on the skin as part of sex play, and many find this frightening for a good reason—most people don’t want to actually burn their skin. The trick to safely participating in wax play is to use candles made of soy, which melt at a much lower temperature than those made of beeswax or regular wax. That way, the melted wax will deliver a much lower amount of heat. Also, of course, if one has skin that is extra sensitive to heat, this method should be avoided.
Chill a metal spoon for a bit in a bowl of ice or cold water, then apply the back of the spoon to a lover’s neck, nipples, stomach, etc. Just briefly, though, before it becomes uncomfortable.
PLAIN OLD ICE
An ice cube in the hand can go a long way. Trace a line extending from one side of a lover’s neck all the way down the side of the leg, then up the inside of the leg, down the inside of the other and back up the other side of his or her body. It’s best to avoid the penis and testicles.
ICE DILDO/HOT TOWEL
This is one of the more hardcore forms of temperature play, which should be pursued with caution. The idea is for the man to masturbate with a warm, wet towel around his member, while the woman masturbates with a chilled dildo. Then, when he enters her, the sensation change for both will be out of this world. There are several options to chill a dildo. Some glass and metal dildos are made to be chilled, but caution should be taken. Glass that gets very cold and then undergoes a sudden temperature change, such as when it is placed inside the body, can break (yikes!). And cold metal may stick to a lady’s warm, wet inside (also not good). Use proper precautions. Let the glass or metal warm just a little. Use lube. Use condoms. Always, always follow packaging instructions.
Any of the above techniques can be combined with one another, and all of them may be more enjoyable with a blindfold. This will leave a lover anticipating, eager and unaware of what sensation is to come. Sight deprivation may be most exciting when lovers are combining a form of heat play like candle wax with a form of cold play, like ice cubes or a cold spoon.
KEEPING IT SAFE
Always check to be sure that the skin is not being burned or losing sensation due to excessive cold or heat. Don’t freeze or heat toys that were not designed to withstand such temperatures. Ease into temperature play to get to know what one’s skin can tolerate.